2 Days in ParisDVD - 2013
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This is us, meaning him and me. Right now we're just exhausted. We're back from a journey. We saw palazzos, vaporettos and espressos. We were on a journey to Italy, like the title of a movie with a happy ending. Really, we were mostly in Venice because it is the city where lovers go. It's also the city over water that will end up underwater. Greens, ochres, pinks, blues, even greys that shine - that's Italy. And the pasta... of course. Now we're a true couple. Two years that we've been together. Two years nowadays it's almost a miracle. Two years of happiness with ups and downs, and in-betweens, mostly. We just need to pick up Jean-Luc that we dropped at my parents between the airport and the train station. Night train to Venice - that was my idea. So on our way back to New York we've decided to spend two days in Paris.
They're your compatriots.
- My compatriots! They voted for Bush! They're on a Da Vinci tour! They're the physical embodiment of all that's wrong culturally and politically with this world. Maybe they'll see something other than the Mona Lisa. Get involved in a riot.
You're so mean, but you're so bright. I love you.
Didn't your train get in at nine?
-Yeah, but with traffic, strikes... France, what a mess!
What? Can't the poor exploited nurses go on strike? This isn't America!
It's an old building. There's leaks all the time. There's no plumber in France.
We have allergies because we are too clean, OK? 100 years ago we were covered in parasites and we had no allergies.
-Is that the same theory behind the French not bathing?
You know why people are attracted to one another?
- I try to kiss you and I get a lecture.
No, I'm not kidding.
- You tell me why.
People of different immune systems attract one another, so the offspring has a stronger combined immune system.
He's not like the morons you usually bring home …
-Thanks a lot! With such a weird face he better be smart!
You used to like my snorting.
- I know, but I said that...
After two years it gets a little tired?
-..’cause I was trying to get in your pants. After that, there was no need to compliment you anymore.
It's very simple: our world is small and if you travel to the other side of the planet, there is a high probability you will bump into someone who lives down your street. Scientifically it is proven that it's not just chance. We are a whole and everything is connected. The illusion of chaos in which we live is actually orderly and definitely linked.
So what's the deal? That guy was looking at you like you were a leg of lamb, with a fork and knife...
- Well, I am a leg of lamb.
I know, but you're my leg of lamb. How do you know him?
-We met many years ago and we had a little thing. I think I gave him a blow job … no big deal.
Really? A blow job's no big deal?
- Oh, I'm sorry. It's no big deal in comparison to what's going on in the world. There's George Bush, the war in Iraq, avian flu. And there's a blow job. You know what I mean? In consideration... Nice transition. It's a minor event, don't you think?
Yeah. I'd say it's not minor, if you wanna talk in the political scheme of things. A blow job, after all, brought down the US's last chance at a healthy democracy. (Clinton/Lewinsky)
That's very evolved of you.
-That's the way we do it in France … we stay close to our exes.
France is responsible for so much of your personal behaviour.
Taking pictures all the time turns you into an observer. It automatically takes you out of the moment. For our trip to Venice I wanted to be in the moment, with Jack. But, instead of kissing on the gondola, Jack took 48 pictures on the gondola. Instead of holding hands walking across Piazza San Marco, Jack took 72 pictures of Piazza San Marco. Et cetera, et cetera.
All women want children. It's in their nature. If he doesn't want to, I can help! It's up to you, of course. I make beautiful kids. So if you want a Brad Pitt or a George Clooney. It's up to you. You know who to call.
Please, don't be jealous. You knew I wasn't a virgin when I met you. I was 33.
There's no terrorism in Paris.
-Because France has a secret deal with the terrorist fundamentalists, because France is a Muslim country?
My mother was brought up Catholic, even though I have a Jewish last name, so technically not Jewish.
- Your father is Jewish, so you Jewish too. You're a happy, hairy, Jewish man. Do you think Hitler would have let you go because your ma is not Jewish? Doesn't change anything. You'd be put in a camp by all these guys.
We'll pay you, asshole! We're rich, we're Americans!
You know. I thought she was a hippy.
-But eventually her mother habits started creeping in on her.
I've been rejected. You know what it is for a woman to be rejected? No, it's over. I'll probably never eat again. I'm probably bulimic or anorexic.
Do you like Jim Morrison?
- Not really, no.
- So why did he go to see his grave?
It's a tourist thing.
In '69. Many people were very happy with their body. No Aids, no death... Sex fun. Everyone with everyone.
At the end of your life you'll look back, what will you think of? Of the job you got or didn't get, or the money you made? No. You will think of the people you loved, and especially of the one woman you loved. And, even better, she'll be right there... holding your hand.
No, no, moi America. I speak English. English! Oh, the guy. He went over there.
-American, my ass! Filthy Arab!
We're shallow with bourgeois problems, as mom says. And there are people dying in wars.
-Marion, don't start again.
The other day I read this article that said...
We use more toilet paper than men because we wipe when we pee. Each time I wipe now I think about it.
- About what?
All that we destroy.
To sum up the four hours of discussion that followed, it's not easy being in a relationship, much less to truly know the other one and accept them as they are, with all their flaws and baggage.
Jack confessed to me his fear of being rejected if I truly knew him, if he showed himself totally bare to me. Jack realised after two years that he didn't know me at all, nor did I know him. And to truly love each other we needed to know the truth about each other, even if it's not so easy to take.
I confessed the toughest thing for me was to decide to be with someone for good, the idea that this is the man I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. To decide that I will make the effort to work things out and not run off the minute there is a problem is very difficult for me. I told him I could not be for just one man for the rest of my life. It was a lie, but I said it anyway.
He asked me if I thought I was a squirrel, collecting men like nuts to put away for cold winters.
It always fascinates me how people go from loving you madly, to nothing at all. Nothing. It hurts so much. When I feel someone will leave me I have a tendency to break up first before I get to hear the whole thing. Here it is. One more, one less, another wasted love story.
Always the same for me - break up, break down. Drink up, fool around, meet one guy, then another, fxck around to forget the one and only. Then after a few months of emptiness, start again to look for true love. Desperately look everywhere and, after two years of loneliness, meet a new love and swear it is the one, until that one is gone as well. There's a moment in life where you can't recover any more from another break-up. And even if this person bugs you 60% of the time, you still can't live without him. And even if he wakes you up every day by sneezing right in your face, well, you love his sneezes more than anyone else's kisses.
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